"Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon." ~ Gloria Steinem

Sunday, April 19, 2009

On conflicting advice for the chronically single

I've been single most of my life. In the [rare] moments when I bemoan being chronically single, those who aren't tend to offer fountains of unsolicited advice. This "advice" can be broken down into two general categories:

1) It will happen when you least expect it and/or when you stop looking for it.
2) It will happen when you're ready.

Am I the only one who sees a contradiction here? If you're not looking for a relationship or expecting one, by definition you are not thinking about the topic, and so how can you know you're ready? If you're thinking about it enough to acknowledge your readiness (or lack thereof, I suppose), you're anticipating a need to know whether or not you're ready, and therefore kind of expecting it, yeah?

The only way I can see of combining the two bits of advice is thus:

1) You will be surprised to find you're ready when it happens unexpectedly.

Apparently going through life completely unaware of your own mental/emotional state is your best bet for finding love. Forgive me, but I just don't see that happening to someone as introspective as me--and I prefer it that way, frankly.

I think the bottom line here is that nobody, no matter how many relationships they've had, is an expert on this subject. More on that later.

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