"Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon." ~ Gloria Steinem

Monday, April 13, 2009

A break from intellect: dating in a ski town

Let's pull back from the religious ponderances for a moment. I would like to share with you, dear readers, my manifesto on the opposite sex in my place of residence.

Firstly, I can't understand why men complain about women who complain that men never approach them; these complaining men say that if women want to be approached they should make themselves approachable, and that includes not showing up to the bar in a gaggle of fellow women -- as supposedly it's difficult to approach a woman when she's surrounded by other women. Sit at the bar with a drink in your hand, they say. Sit there alone, they say. Make eye contact with us, they say. But if you are in the company of other women, our testicles will shrivel and fall off if we try to talk to you. We're shy. Make it easier on us.

I call shenanigans on those complaining men.

In my experience, it makes no difference whether I'm with a group of people or not. I never go to a bar without three or four other people, and yet somehow I always end up with an ardent suitor (who will not take no for an answer, but I will get to that) who, having seen me enjoying the company of my friends for roughly seven minutes, drinking a beer with perfect finesse, elegantly sporting jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, clearly cannot live without me. One of these suitors got angry with me for having the audacity to pause our conversation (which he'd pretty much demanded of me) for 30 seconds in order to listen to something my friend wanted to tell me. Another 

Secondly, I take issue with how difficult it is to reject men.

It's difficult to reject someone? You bet your ass it is. I'm not claiming an overabundance of kindness that prevents me from being honest with these poor, shy males who mustered up the courage to talk to me and how can I crush their hopes and dreams?

No, I mean that it is literally nearly impossible for me to reject men, because they do not listen to me. When I am polite about my disinterest, they (I assume) take it for shyness, coyness, unwillingness to give in quickly and be seen as one of "those" girls. When I am blunt and borderline rude, they (I assume) see it as a challenge.

I once spent an entire hour rejecting a man. I began at polite, danced through firm, and ended in "I really just never wanted to see you again so please go away". AN HOUR. It finally ended when my best friend physically pulled me away from him and out of the bar.

After that, I thought I'd learned my lesson; I skipped polite and went for a mix of firm and bitchy. I have since learned that nothing I say or do makes any difference.

Which is of course unsurprising, because why on earth would You bother to pay attention to what a girl's saying when You're hitting on her? Why bother trying to figure out what she wants, because all women really want is You, right? And women NEVER say what they mean, so when she says no, she means "Maybe if you're persistent enough! *teehee*" Women, of course, do not have brains and are not honest and so You have to just assume they want what you want.

Thirdly, approaching me at a bar has about a 0.07% success rate for a guy, no matter the circumstances.

You may be aware that the ratio of men to women around here is 6 to 1. This allows a significant portion of my demographic (single females, just to clarify) to be (let's face it) sluts. There are indeed quite a few women in this county who are amenable to going home with complete strangers; therefore, if you approach me at a bar, my first assumption is that your assumption is that I am one of those girls--otherwise why would you even try? This, as you may have guessed, is an immediate strike against you.

And it is as simple as that. If a complete stranger approaches me at a bar, I am automatically not interested.

You now know exactly why I'm a single woman in a place where the ratio of men to women is 6 to 1.


  1. Guys always understand a swift kick to the balls.



    I'm happy I have at least one reader!!!!!