For example, I want to get paid to drink coffee, listen to Lady Gaga, read about weird shit on the internet, and argue with my superiors.
I know what you're thinking: Doesn't that sound kind of like a lawyer? Research + arguments = legal cases, right? Maybe a lobbyist, or a congressional aide, or the high school debate team?
You would be wrong, though. I don't want to be a lawyer, because that would mean I'd have to be successful in my arguing.
I never said I was good at winning arguments.