I remembered all the cool things I did when I was single.

1. Eating ice cream
2. Watching Turner Classic Movies
3. Cutting my bangs
4. Organizing my library
5. Cooking/baking strange yet delicious concoctions
6. Solving crossword puzzles

Um...that's pretty much it.

Let's add another -ism to the MNCAA

In a tournament rife with broken brackets and macho men crying in their cubicles, the only known perfect bracket thus far belongs to an autistic 17-year-old. But is that cool? Are we impressed? Are we applauding Alex Hermann for this unheard-of feat?

No, we are not.

Because obviously, there's no way that a disabled young person could POSSIBLY accomplish something beyond the grasp of millions of big-muscled, sports-betting, gym-frequenting, fantasy-[insert sport here]-playing, REAL men; it must be a fake.

Disablism? Check. Ageism? Check. The only thing that would make this a fake with 100% certainty is if it had been a 17-year-old autistic female.

Sweet.

Note: This kid has Purdue winning the national championship -- primarily because his brother went to Purdue. Whatevs; I'm all for it, Alex.

No, I did not change my blog template.

Clearly, you are on meth.

Apparently I felt my glasses were post-worthy

My new glasses are delightful. Seriously, I may be in love with them. I'm so in love with them that I have cleaned them several times today -- and not with my shirt or a Kleenex or the stuffed chimpanzee on my desk, but with an actual "high quality micro0fiber lens cleaning cloth". That has been sitting on my desk all day -- just waiting to fulfill its lens cleaning destiny.

Also, it was brought to my attention while picking out said new glasses that I tend to wear my specs somewhat low on the bridge of my nose, which apparently causes the top of the frames to cut across my eyelids and therefore across my field of vision -- which, upon reflection, is completely true. Hence, I am attempting to wear them higher up, but mostly this just means I'm resituating them every four seconds, as though I have glasses-resituating OCD like my life depends on it.



I feel like I got less interesting when I got into a relationship.

Don't get me wrong; I love being with and With TheManFriend. And it's not that he makes me boring -- it's that we are both people who don't particularly enjoy traditional social activities such as drinking in bars, going to parties, or ... what else do normal people do at night?

So, because we are, I suppose, boring people separately, of course we will be boring together. boring + boring = 2(boring). Basic math.

I mean, I wasn't particularly interesting when I was single, but I feel like when I was single I got myself into weird, idiotic frames of mind more often, especially when I lived alone, and I'd end up spending my Friday nights doing crazy shit involving ... shit, I don't know. Something. Something worth telling stories about.

These days, I find few things more enjoyable than eating Chinese takeout and instant-streaming 30 Rock on Netflix. That we happen to be naked some of the time does not in any way make us more interesting.

And let me emphasize that I would not, for any reason, wish myself out of my relationship, because it's fantastic and awesome and I don't really have words for it -- said speechlessness probably being the root cause of this post.

I was never speechless over all the random crap that rattled around my head when I was single, but then again, maybe the random crap wasn't all that great to begin with. Who knows? I was single then, and happy, and I am notsingle now, and also happy. LIFE. Whoo.



Also, I has job at zoo.

Melodrama, here I come

I have something brewing in my head, but I'm afraid to post it until it's properly fleshed out.

See, this is the kind of thing that could potentially piss EVERYONE off. Yeah, I know, nobody actually reads this blog; what kind of impact could I possibly have? Trust me -- you never know what's going to happen on the internets.

Anyway, it's the kind of thing that could make almost everyone, literally, angry with me. I could offend not only the people who are used to being offended by progressives, but also the progressives themselves. It could be seen as a mockery of everything the people on both sides of every issue have been working towards for years upon years.

Why?

This thing I want to post challenges our very identity as a species, that's why. It challenges core assumptions about life, assumptions that everyone on both sides of every issue has in common -- despite all evidence of a complete lack of agreement.

I suppose, however, that if you have read Ishmael, you may not be as averse to the coming suggestions as I assume most people would be.

ESPN.com's Jemele Hill on UConn's winning streak

If you think watching the UConn women pound their competitors is boring, you must have been comatose when the New York Islanders won four straight championships or when Michael Jordan's Bulls rattled off two three-peats.

When men dominate, it's not always considered bad for the sport. If the UConn women were a men's program, I doubt someone would write a column wondering whether they should be disbanded. But someone wrote that about the Connecticut women.

Why is it that when women dominate their sport, it's considered unfair to everyone else?

Read the whole thing here.

One of these things is not like the other

The men's tournament is The NCAA Tournament, naturally.